Epiphany

We all got up around the same time Sunday morning. I was glad to just take it easy for the day, and not worry about running around or doing anything on time. That's the beauty of the weekend, and that's exactly how it should be. I've bitched over and over again, my utter hate for people who make things more complicated than they need to be--meaning they make things complicated for themselves, and eventually roll over their complications to everyone else. It's ridiculous. Not to get all hippy on people, but I honestly don't understand how people LIVE like that. It's not living, it's being MISERABLE. At least in my book it is. I've been all about enjoying myself these days, and not giving a fuck if anyone else is having fun. I've spent too many years of my life working around others, and I'm just not doing that anymore. Totally over that whole scene. 

I was really sad to leave Marissa's. I seriously had such a good time! Weekends like these, 

are the epitome of ME. What I like to do, what I enjoy doing. I always feel like I'm not the fun one in our group, and I've grown to realize that's not the case at all. Sure I'm pretty objective and not as crazy like some of the bunch, but I'm crazy in other ways. As I'm getting older, I'm really starting to notice things that bother me. Going out from weekend to weekend is getting monotonous. I can't deal with it anymore. I'm not the girl who likes to go downtown to bars and get hammered, so much that I can't remember what I did the night before. I'm all for a good time, but not always up for what everyone else's definition of a "good time" is. It's not fun for me. I'm starting to go through a pretty big transition in my life. It's definitely time to evaluate my social habits.

We're not teenagers anymore, we're pretty much half way through our adult lives. The era of being irresponsible spoiled brats have come to pass. The excuses of making bad decisions will only carry you for so long. I need more motivation in my life, passion and something that drives me to find any meaning I can in my life. I'm finding it in travel and adventures around the world. I just feel like I've been drowning in a stagnant pool of nowhere land, and I need to come up for air. I love my friends, I really do. It's just time for a change in me. Different things are becoming more important in my life, and I'm just not on the same page as others are. It's always kind of a sad moment, when you realize you're on different paths with the people you love. I'm not insinuating that I'm better or above anyone else, we just grow at different rates. Everyone sooner or later will reach a point in their lives, where what they've been doing just isn't enough anymore. It's like poison, not having enough stimulus in your life. Drags you down, kills your moods and beats out any passion that ever existed in you. I'm simply not allowing it to dominate my life. 

I may live a small insignificant life to others, but that doesn't mean I'm not important. I may be at the mercy of other people temporarily for a few hours a day, but they hold no rightful ownership to the story of my life. In the grand scheme, you just can't let the "little things" hold you back from all the bigger things that are yet to come to you! It's taken me a long time to understand what that means, and I'm taking full advantage of it now! I've always felt like people don't understand or know me. How I operate, cope, what makes me tick. This weekend was more than just having a great time with one of my besties; it made me realize what's important in my life, and totally attainable to regain my umph back.