Work was a bit hectic today. I always feel like I'm moving non stop. Probably because I am. I punch in ready to work. If there's something to be done, I go do it. What's the point in waiting around? Hoping someone else will just do it for you? There's no such thing as that when it comes to me. I just suck it up and go do it.
My appointment is on Tuesday. I'm REALLY hoping that I can lose as much as I can this week. I've been careful about my meal choices, and have been pretty good about taking my vitamins. Although, I did forget to take them today. Oh well, I'll pick up where I left off tomorrow. I have another nurse visit, before I get to see Dr. Cusimano again. I'm starting to get antsy, so I'm hoping that I can just schedule my appointments when I go Tuesday. It's getting increasingly hard to see her, so I should really just make my appointments as far in advance as I can.
I haven't been exercising like I should this week. I have tried to get in enough walking and stairs. My friend Ashly at work started doing Insanity. That whole thing scares me. She's really fit, and she's small. Ashly was doing the warm up for it, and told me she thought it was the work out. The poor girl was so tired after it, she couldn't even get to the work out session! I don't want to go to that extreme, until I'm ready lol. I ran into my other friend Jason and he's been doing P90X. I've heard rave reviews about that program, but it'll totally kick your ass for sure. Maybe when I get a little more buff, I'll take a stab at it.
For now, I'm pretty content in managing what I eat and fitting in exercise. It's almost bathing suit season, and I plan on looking GREAT! So excited! Oh, and my face is starting to get thin! I also noticed that my stretch marks on my abdomen are going away! Thank the lord, because I really really didn't like them. Now only if I could get this jiggly fat to get off of my arms...
And by lazy, I am referring to those who don't get off their dead asses to do a damn thing. Lazy people, need not apply to be one in my circle. I literally cannot deal with it. I can complain with the best of them. Been referred to as a "drama mama" before, and although I don't think I'm quite that bad--I can't exactly deny it. I prefer to describe myself as ANIMATED when I tell my stories, after all I've learned from the best how to tell a great story.
It's been brought to my attention that obviously not everyone supports you. Even if you complain non stop, I'll still have open ears. Lets be real people, sometimes you just need to vent. Family members and good friends, should be there for you NO MATTER WHAT. A good friend listens, gives advice, calls you out and above all supports you no matter what. Even if I didn't agree with you, I'd still support your decisions. There are things that yes of course, we cannot change-but that doesn't make your stress and pain any less important in your life. If the issue is not important to your friends and family, your pain from it should be enough cause for them to give their support.
I've been incredibly lucky to have such great family and friends that support what I do. I get into a lot of kicking and screaming matches with my sister about this issue. To her, my issues may not seem that big. Things can seem fixable in her eyes, and changeable. However, to me...they're giant. Although I do come across abrasive with my advice to others and I am a straight shooter, I very rarely ever have no ears to lend out to someone in need. Just something to keep in mind. Obviously Hien and I have our moments, what kind of siblings would we be if we didn't? It just always seems like a struggle to have a relationship with her sometimes. No need to go into details, just saying how I feel. She's not a horrible person or a horrible sister at all. Relationships no matter what kind, are always work to maintain.
My biggest lesson by far this year, is coping with other people. Playing nice in the sandbox, has turned into a complete and utter battlefield. I've had to deal with things, I honestly never gave any thought to. No one ever teaches you how to be diplomatic in the work place, or teaches you how to express your feelings or concerns properly. Something, I hope I can prepare my children for some day. I'm refusing to be lazy, and take it upon myself to work through these issues. I'd like to someday get a job and start things off right, based on my prior mistakes and experience. It'll be my day soon enough.
People amaze me. They honestly do. If you've given up, and refuse to do any work in your life, you deserve a big "L" tattooed on your forehead. I can do it for you if you'd like! I just don't understand. No one else is going to help you, if you don't help yourself first. So get off of your butt and get to work! Easier said then done. It makes me crazy when people are high and mighty about their own entitlement issues. Just because you've "paid your dues", shouldn't mean you leave all the work for the rookie. Be a good example, work together in a unit.
I don't know much, but I know this. No one can ever say, that Thao is lazy.
I've decided that someone out there, must be trying to make me laugh. Sometimes I have long streaks of bad luck. I get mad most of the time, but I'm learning to be more easy going about it and laugh it off. Yesterday was the second day I haven't been wearing eyeliner. I don't wear it if I'm not going or doing anything important. Whenever I don't wear it, my eyes itch like a mofo. I'm not even joking. If I could have rubbed my eyes right out of their sockets yesterday, I would have. Needless to say, the universe is OBVIOUSLY telling me--I can NEVER NOT WEAR EYELINER.
A few days ago I went to get my car inspected. My first task five years ago starting my job, was to buy myself a nice car. I had been driving beater cars for most of my teenage life, and it was time to get a good one. As luck would have it, I got a great deal on a 2007 Camry 5 speed. It was exactly what I wanted. Thank God I didn't end up buying a Lexus. You'll soon know why. About three months into buying my car, I got T-Boned at a gas station near my house. Of course it was MY FAULT per State Farm because I was backing up. But the old man driving the over sized Jimmy, speeding had no fault at all. He hit me so hard, it picked up my back bumper and twisted my car about 90 degrees from where I was. Soon after that, about six months later I was hit AGAIN. Someone tried to parallel park behind my car and scraped the shit out of my bumper. I wasn't there when it happened, but judging by the marks left on it the cops knew. Mind you, this was the NEW bumper I had replaced from the Jimmy accident. Over the winter months, I was driving my mom, Hien and Whitney to Macy's. Boy was that a trip from hell. My mother is the most annoying backseat driver you'll find in a thousand mile radius. I shit you not. For a woman who likes to be a passenger, she can sure as hell tell you exactly how to drive. This girl was driving her Jeep cutting across the parking lot, and was about to hit me. I cranked my wheel to the right, and all I heard was ::CCHHHRRRSSSSHHHHHH:: and me yelling "mother fucker!" of course. I got out of my car to find that my side skirt was ripped off and sliced from the curb I hit to avoid dumb blonde in Jeep. Off I went to get my baby fixed again.
As luck would have it, Black Betty was sparkling pretty. I picked her up from the shop on the way to work. Minding my own business on the highway, I saw this big black thing out of the corner of my eye. You know when things like paper or I don't know objects fly at your windshield and you duck--even though you know it won't literally hit your face? Yep. There I was, on a three lane highway with nowhere to go. This big ass crow was flying right towards my driver side window, and there was nothing I could do but duck! After I opened up my eyes, there were black feathers EVERYWHERE! The stupid crow must have been attracted to my sparkling paint job and decided it wanted to face plant. If my window had been opened, I would have crow in my car and probably DIED! I pulled over of course, but didn't get out. I really didn't need to considering I could visibly see the damage to my car. My outside mirror was hanging by wired with crow feathers and blood all over it. Back to the shop I went. I'm on a first name basis with them over there now lol.
So after I got my car inspected this past week, my sun visor decided it didn't want to stay up. I've noticed for about five years now--as long as I've owned the car, that it never closed all the way. It wasn't a big deal so I never got it looked at. It was when I pulled into the driveway when I noticed it was down. YUP, you guessed it. Another broken body part for Betty. I tried to flip it all the way out facing the windshield, and it flopped right back down. I tried to duct tape it and low and behold, duct tape doesn't stick on upholstery. I had about a zillion things to do that day, and needed my effing car. So I pulled an Up move, and ripped the bitch right off. So now I have my sun visor sitting in my backseat. Later on I looked online, apparently that was a recall. They probably won't cover it now, because I ripped it out. It was extremely dangerous to drive, considering it was directly in my field of view. There was no way I was going to sit my ass at home ALL WEEK without my car. I don't care, I'll just pay whatever it costs to fix it.
I strolled into work today, and there wasn't a drop in the sky. All of the sudden, torrential downpour. Of course I had bright yellow scrubs on, and by the time I got to the door I looked like a drown rat. My hair was completely soaked, my scrubs sticking to my legs and my purse was drenched. What a GREAT start to my work week. It wasn't until about an hour later, when I looked outside and saw it was sunny and gorgeous. I could have gotten mad or thrown myself a pity party, but I just laughed instead. Someone somewhere is trying to add a little humor in my life.
Gah! All other women can relate. Getting to that time of the month makes you do crazy things. Makes you randomly cry, meltdown, freak out, get mad, and WORST of all eat really bad things. I was on a rampage Tuesday. Wanting bad food, was at the top of my to do list. It was super difficult to resist, and yes for the most part I did.
I went for a little grocery shopping so I could have supplies for work this week. Buying lunch at work is not only expensive, it's super bad for you. You think hospitals would have healthier choices, but you are wrong. It's their way of job security. I'm not even joking. Everything is just about horrible for you. The soups are mostly cream based, and totally heavy. The salad bar is about the closest thing you can get to healthy. Anyway, I picked up some things for sandwiches, cottage cheese, fruit, pickles of course, protein bars and some other odds and ends. Grocery shopping while hungry is a super bad idea. I broke down and bought a can of pizza pringles. YES PIZZA FLAVORED CHIPS. I have no idea why I like them, but once in a while I really do. I ate less than a quarter of them, but they were so good. Enough to satisfy me for the moment.
After I had that little snack, I decided to have some fruit and cottage cheese. About an hour later, I was still hungry! What the hell?! So then I ate some lunch. I was a human garbage disposal yesterday. I managed to eat some pretty healthy things, but I couldn't stop! It finally hit me, I was due for my period this week. Thanks Eve for being an asshole and eating the forbidden fruit.
I haven't been getting much sleep at all lately. Even when I do sleep, I wake up feeling lousy. Do you ever have things that are so much on your mind, you literally wake up in mid thought? That's how my past week has been for me. Anyway, I took a long nap in the afternoon. So long that when I woke up it was dinner time. Sometimes, you just have to act like a teenager and recharge your batteries!
Nothing spectacular happened today...only if you count losing four pounds as SPECTACULAR! It always seems that in times of high stress, I lose weight. Not the best way to lose, but I haven't put it back on. I've been trying to watch carefully what I eat and maintain a healthy lifestyle. It takes years and years of practice, learning and training to develop this.
Again, I wasn't able to get an appointment at the office this week. A lady from work that suggested I go there, hounds me every week I'm at work on how much weight I've lost. It's getting kind of annoying actually. I don't particularly care that people know, but I just don't like being hounded. I don't think anyone likes it. Why is it, that people feel the need to weasel out information from you by means of badgering? Like didn't anyone tell you, that people don't like being pressured for information? If I want you to know, I'll tell you. Other than that, keep your MF'n questions to yourself! Jeez. Anyway, she doesn't bother me that much...it's just other people that do.
I'm trying to survive on my weeks without my appointments. I'm actually getting better at it, if I do say so myself! I've been able to lose some weight this week, and I'm feeling good about it. Finding happiness in small triumphs is exactly what I need right now. I'm trying to focus on me right now. Me and only me. I can't worry anymore about people or things going on at work. It's painful for me to literally, have to mentally prepare myself for going back there. Maybe in time I'll find a way around it. Maybe in time, I'll leave and find another job.
But for now, I'm finding happiness in a kiddie bowl of rainbow sherbet and rainbow sprinkles.
I've been saying this for freaking weeks now. It seems like all my friends and I are going through the same thing. It's been a super high stress time right now, where we all are going through meltdowns and freaking out. I thought maybe at first it was hormones, then I blamed it on global warming and now I'm blaming the planets.
Astrology is super hard to figure out. It takes literally years to master, and even then things are ever changing. I read somewhere online that we are in Mercury return. Meaning that where Mercury lies, has a shifting effect on the Earth's and Moon's balance with each other. Makes sense. You've all read on here several times before about the full moon theory I have. If you don't believe that the full moon effects people, go out and ask local hospital workers or law enforcement. It's not a freaking myth, this shit is FOR REAL! Anyway, it does make me feel better that we're not alone.
To each one of us, our crisis might seem minuscule to each other; however in reality it's our whole life at the moment. This week especially has been so hard on me. I've had to go through so much meaningless bullshit at work and it has started to effect my home life. Whoever said they don't take work stuff to home...is full of shit. You should totally not believe them, because I sure as hell don't! It's been mentally breaking me down, something that I cannot afford to do. I've also been dealing with a lot of personal anguish. I don't care to talk about this on here, because it is incredibly painful. To tell you the truth, I really don't want to talk about it at all.
We all go through things that shake us. Sometimes we can contain our emotions, but they're so unpredictable. There's nothing wrong with crying. It hits you sometimes out of nowhere, but you'll feel so much better once you do. In a way, tears are really therapeutic. Think of it as your body's way of clearing out some toxins. I cry out of nowhere sometimes, and I cry for extended amounts of time off and on too. Someone once told me that all we can control, is the way we react to situations. Although there is some truth behind it, but I still think our emotions are unpredictable. Our parents don't choose our personalities, we develop them. Despite what anyone thinks, we need to all take ownership of them. Whether in good situations or bad ones.
Don't ever let someone make you feel, like something you are not. Be strong. Know that you are who you are, and it doesn't make you any less of a person. I've always said that whatever anyone thinks about me, is none of my business. And you know what? I mean it. Seriously. I don't give a rats ass about anyone's opinion of me. Find strength in having faith in yourself. I refuse to let anyone beat me down into submission. I won't let anyone make me feel--like I'm less of a person than anyone else. In other words, I'm not obligated to tolerate anyone else's personality or behavior. Because if others don't feel obligated to respect me, why should I be forced to return the favor. Now you all know, what my struggles been at work. Ridiculous.
I got together with Nicole around eight. We headed over to a restaurant/bar in the area to watch the first half of the Syracuse game. Syracuse has been doing so well in the tournament and the bar was packed! It's really awesome to see local support. I didn't get to stay long, I was meeting up with the rest of the crew at another bar. I stayed with Nicole and chit chatted about things, she always has a way of making me feel better about my situation. I didn't have anything to drink there, because if I did--I would have just stayed there for the rest of the night.
After I said a quick goodbye, I headed over to our usual hang out for the second half of the game. I made it just in time to wrap it up. So sad that my orange men didn't win, but they're still my favorite color! Marissa came home from Albany and I was so happy to see her. I finally got to meet her mother, which is hilarious to me. Marissa's parents were really strict when we were teenagers. For some odd reason, we ALWAYS said we were at Nikki's when really we were up to no good. I used to drop off Marissa at the end of her drive way super early in the morning, so she could sneak back into her house. Even though her mom has only seen my face now, I'm sure she knew what kind of a car I drove!
We went to a micro brewery that recently opened up in our area. Um...not a fan. The atmosphere was really cool, but the beer--was not. They make their own beer, and the alcohol content ranges from 13-17%. I'm not a big beer fan, so I wasn't really interested. I ended up just getting a glass of reisling. Judging by the look on everyone else's face...seemed like they were just drinking the beer to get drunk. Should have taken more pictures of the after beer taste faces!
In all, it was a good night. Sadly, Nikki and I did cheat towards the end. We split a sample platter at another bar, and called it a night. I wasn't feeling too guilty about it. I knew that her and I would do our part to work it off, and definitely portion control carefully for the next week after our junk food hell!
I met up with Katie, Michelle and Frank to see The Hunger Games last night! It was so much fun! They recently remodeled the AMC theater in our area, so now all the seats are recliners. They're super comfy, but they have less seats than the other theater I usually go to. It was fun, but I prefer the Regal's opening night better. They just seem to be more organized.
We went to TGI Friday's, it was close to the theater and we could keep an eye on the lines. We had a good time chit chatting and eating. It was a rather late dinner, 9:30 but I'd rather be full during the movie. It was The HUNGER Games after all lol! The line was FULL of tweenies and young adults. I couldn't believe how many teenage kids there were! I know it's a popular and big movie, but on a school night?! It was hilarious, when we left everyone's parents were lined up outside to pick up their kids. Something I SO do not miss. Having my parents pick me up and drive me places. I'm sure they don't miss it either!
I thought the movie was good! It's definitely how I imagined it in my head, but if you didn't read the series you will totally miss out. I'm not completely sure how great the movie will be to people who haven't read the series. For me, I wish it was longer! Suzanne Collins hit on lots of strategies between the characters, something that you miss out on in the movie. I am totally Team Peeta! I'm secretly in love with him actually. Once you read it, you'll understand. That's real love, making life sacrifices. Although it wasn't ALL that I hoped for, it was so much BETTER than Twilight. I started watching the series, and now I feel obligated to finish it. To tell you the truth, I hate the acting in Twilight. I think it's too literal to the style in which the book was written. Stephanie Meyers makes such a build up to the climax, and then BOOM it's gone in like two pages. Whatever.
I am seriously so obsessed with The Hunger Games, because I love her concept. I'm not sure if these teens reading it in school, realize what an impact she's trying to convey. It's about twisted politics, standing up and taking action. That YOU have the power to change your government. You have a right to stand up to injustices, and you have a right to be heard. One action, can ripple and effect greater than we realize. Even in the most difficult times, we still have hope. The only power greater than fear, is hope.
I haven't been this excited, since the Harry Potter films came out! Michelle, Frank, Katie and I are going to see the midnight showing! The previews to the movie, look so close to the book it gives me chills! For anyone who hasn't read the series, you need to get with it! I read the series a few months ago, and was instantly hooked. I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy them, but to my surprise I did. It's always hard finding a good read. I like books that have movement and can keep my attention. I despise anything that can't. I attempted to read Atonement, and wanted to punch myself in the face after the first few pages. Needless to say, I never read it.
The only thing that pisses me off about the series, are the names. Seriously Suzanne Collins?! I know you're set in a futuristic era, but do your names have to be so messed up?! It adds charm to the books I guess. My next tackle is downloading Game of Thrones on my Kindle. Even though the series isn't completely done, I figure by the time I've read the seventh book the other one should be out.
I will be back to report to you all on my thoughts about the movie. We're going to dinner near the theater, so we can keep an eye on the lines. We pre ordered our tickets two weeks ago. Another movie I'm super excited about is Snow White and the Huntsman. I am NOT a Kristen Stewart fan by any stretch. I think she's pretty, but her awkwardness and style of acting makes me want to pull all my hair out. Hopefully she'll be better in this movie. To tell you the truth, I am dying to see Charlize Theron in it. I LOVE HER. She is one of the most beautiful people in the world, and her acting is top notch. The trailer for it definitely gave me chills. The hott guy who played Thor is in it too. So what's there not to like! I'll include the trailer video below.
OH!
I got my car inspected today, and while I left it at the shop I went for a walk/jog. I came back home and weighed myself. I LOST TWO POUNDS SINCE YESTERDAY! So there it is, plateaus or not your weight loss will eventually even out for you!
I was super early to my appointment, but Cody got me right in. There have been lots of new faces at the office and we got onto conversation. The last medical assistant, Jen that was there ended up leaving. Makes a little sad, just because I get familiar and comfortable with them then poof! They're gone. I realized that Cody is the only nurse working there, which blows my mind. She has to super multitask, upon taking care of Dr. Cusimano's regular medical patients, she does the weight loss ones too. She is also taking classes and learning how to become an Eustachian.
This week has been exceptionally hard. I'm not sure why, but I haven't been able to achieve the weight loss I wanted. I didn't gain any weight, and neither did I lose today. I was right on the edge of losing one pound, but I didn't. I've increased my exercise, just because it's been so nice outside. This hasn't bothered me in a while, and I'm not about to let it start to. During weight loss you hit plateaus and weight loss fluctuates. I'm positive that I'll be on track by the next weigh in.
Cody is going on vacation next week, so I won't be able to get an appointment again. Frustrating. I understand that they are short staffed, but I really need those appointments. Maybe this is a good time to practice being self reliant. Eventually I won't be going there, and I'll have to take matters into my own hands. While I was there I turned in my stuff for my HRA. I'm going to try and get out doing the whole insurance thing, because after all I'm paying to participate in her program. The health coach thing is freaking ridiculous. They don't really help with anything, and I don't feel like wasting my time.
Anyway, no worries! Things will pick up and turn around I'm sure!
Because I definitely am! This year has been CRAZY. We skipped through Spring and jumped right into Summer...so Sprummer? Our low's in Upstate New York, should really be our highs right now. You know there's a problem, when the West Coast is colder than the East. After all...I guess that makes sense with global warming. And with all you dooms day enthusiasts, fits the bill I suppose.
Usually this time of year, us New Yorkers are waiting for the weather to drop again. We've been known to have bit snow storms in early April. Last year was nice, but it was still cold enough to wear a light spring jacket. It's just kind of funny, if it were freezing temps people would be freaking out. The weather has been truly gorgeous, so everyone is like "hell yeah I love global warming!" LMAO, so true.
I had to work at our sister hospital today, our scanner did indeed go down for a bit. We had it up and running for a while, but I was still scared to use it. Anyway, I had a nice time over at the big house. I was only there for about an hour, but I had Sweet Tarts chicks ducks and bunnies for Staci. They're her favorite, so I always get her a bag for Easter.
I was happy to see Tuesday definitely go. Things at work have been less than desirable but it's just all a learning experience. Confrontation is always uncomfortable, and basically I need to step it up and learn some skills. Been having a rough time, but I'm confident that I can get this under control. Michelle and Frank asked me to meet them out for trivia. I usually don't go out during the week, but it was my last day after all. We had a great time. They were there with some friends, and we ended up winning $50, not bad! No surprise to me though, we're super smarty pants!
Monday rolled around, and it was totally less than exciting. This entire week has been strange. I wake up and practically drag my butt to work. Then all of the sudden I get bursts of energy and I'm totally ready to hustle! Weird!
I didn't really have much time that day one I got to work, to eat. I ended up just having soup and half of a sandwich. Nothing major. The scanner was acting wonky and started acting up towards the end of my shift. I was secretly hoping that it would just be down, so I didn't have to come into work on Tuesday! LOL awful, I know but I was super ready to get out and be done.
This has been a strange work week for me. I've been getting more antsy and anxious to get out of here all together. Stress and things at work are starting to effect my personal life...in other words I'm taking shit home with me. Not good. How are you just supposed to let things roll off? Guess it all comes with experience and time I suppose.
I haven't been doing too well with the whole weight thing this week. I haven't felt much of a difference, and I've of course weighed myself to check. I gained back three pounds to my calculations, and let's just say I'm hoping I just have to go to the bathroom or something! That week I couldn't get an appointment really rocked me. It's not good to deviate from a weekly routine, and it seems as though I've become dependent on them. Which later on, I'll have to work through. For now, I REALLY need those weekly appointments to keep me focused and on track. It makes you really pay attention and work for it if you have to answer to someone. I'm starting to get a little worried about my appointments as well. I think from now on, I'll just schedule them ahead of time to make sure I get in properly. It was never a big problem before, but now with her numbers sky rocketing I can definitely see it.
Attempting to keep to myself is just that, a freaking lousy attempt. No matter what I seem to do, I feel like I get poked and prodded. Terrorized and I'm starting to get real tired of it. Tomorrow I'm planning on taking some action, hopefully I won't have to but I just don't know how much longer I can go on with this. I despise handling work issues. There's no real "easy" way to go about it. Gah, I'll be wrestling with that one tomorrow. Wish me luck...
I've been a huge basketball fan, since I was a kid. March is my favorite month, why else?! NCAA March Madness baby! Any sport or skill I can watch people play their hearts out and see that look of hunger in their eyes, is incredibly inspiring to me. Shout out to my ORANGEmen at Syracuse, this year is kicking some major ass! Even if you guys did lose Fab Melo, we all know one person doesn't make up the team. Even better, my favorite color is orange!
My heart does belong to the Tar Heels, what can I say? I've been watching these boys for a long time, and I like their strategy. Being a loyal Upstate NY girl, my Orange will be the team to watch this year. Already right out of the gate, NCAA tourny is getting super risky and I'm loving every minute of it.
Rick and I discovered a few years ago, that NBA games were totally crazy to watch. It's funny. I love college basketball, because these guys LIVE for it. You can see in their face how badly they want to win. But the NBA, they have top notch skills. I mean, where else do you recruit players for the NBA--college ball! We began watching more and more NBA games together and couldn't believe the amount of skills and game these guys had! What can I say, I love LeBron James! A lot of people think he's cocky, and so what?! I followed him from the Cav's then his major switch to Heat. He has to be one of the most entertaining players I've seen in a while. I have love of course my my NYK's, I love me some Linderella and Carmelo! And Kobeeeeee! :)
Anyways, this forgetting to eat thing is starting to catch up with me. Umm...I hopped on the scale and discovered I was back at 188. I was down to 186 last I checked, because I didn't have an appointment this week. There's your PROOF that your body PACKS on weight, when you don't eat regularly. It just stores everything because it doesn't know when it will be nourished again. GAH! I'm going to be lucky, if I lose even four pounds this week! I'm giving myself some slack and will settle for a four pound loss, versus a six pound one like I wanted.
However, the NCAA and the NBA players might just have been my inspiration to get as much as I can off before Wednesday!!!
My first few days back at work, are flying fast! We haven't been really busy, just more of a steady pace. It has been absolutely beautiful out and everyone is itching to get out and have some fun. During my lunch I've been going outside and walking around the trail. We have this "stay healthy at work" trail, that goes around campus. One lap around is equal to one mile, and I usually can go around twice. I really like going outside, but it makes it SO much harder to go back in!
I haven't had much time at all to eat dinner. It's been busy at night, the only time when I'm actually working all alone! Of course that would just happen that way lol. I try to eat a lunch that will keep me full, but I've been forgetting to eat to be totally honest. On Wednesday, I had time to eat a decent lunch. Thursday, I had been grazing on fruit all day with a few chips and TOTALLY forgot to eat dinner! I was so caught up with patients, I didn't even have any time to realize I wasn't hungry at all! Skipping meals is definitely not good for you. It slows down your metabolism, and messes up your entire routine! When Friday rolled around, same thing happened again! The others were ordering out, so I got a half order of stuffed shells. I only at two of them, and gave the other two away. I was super full, and thus didn't even think to eat dinner!
It's really difficult to work in this environment. Well, not work but to eat! I used to work in the OR, and sometimes be up doing cases for over four hours at a time. You don't have time to go pee, let alone EAT. I was doing WW at the time, and it DID NOT HELP ME AT ALL. My WW leader kept lecturing me about eating properly, this lady had NO CLUE about how my line of work operated. She was a nasty bitch to tell you the truth...
"What do you mean you don't have time to eat, you get lunch don't you????"
Actually, some days I DON'T. When we get too busy to stop for a mandatory break, we punch out NO LUNCH so we get paid for the lunch hour we worked through. SHIT HAPPENS. I did not like her at all, maybe that's why I have such a bad taste in my mouth from doing WW. I joined last year, and had about an eight pound success. WW works for lots of people, but I'm not one of them. I need something more individual based.
I wasn't ready to go home at all after work, so I text Nikki to have a bum night. On my way home, I stopped at the liquor store and bought myself little togo bottles of wine. Funny right?
These little mini bottles are perfect for me. I didn't even drink a whole one, I just wanted a taste is all. I put the rest of them in my car, in case I need to bring one to a party or something. I have my mini wine fix right there! Marissa came over and hung out for a bit, and eventually we called it a night and went home. It was nice just to relax with my girls.
Today was kind of a sad day for us at work. One of our regular RN's retired. Although I am happy for her, I hate to see people leaving work. A few months prior my favorite nurse from the ER left. She was super sweet, and always had time to listen. Even though I only had a few years to work with her, I consider her a great friend. I hate growing attached to people, but this is life.
We threw a small party for her, and tried to make her last night a really nice one for her. We all get caught up in such a routine. It's almost like running into a dead end when things change. I supposed that life does go on, and adjusting is but a small stepping stone in the grand scheme of things.
There was ALL kinds of super bad food. I opted to bring in fruit and cheese and crackers. I do admit, i nibbled on a few scoops with some chicken wing dip but I promise that was it! I kept myself busy, steering totally clear of the lounge area where all the goodies were stashed. I've been light spirited so far this week, not sure why---haha totally not complaining either though! I wish her the best of luck, and can only hope things will turn around for the better!
Awful for me to even comment when things are going well there! But there will be no complaining from this peanut gallery about it! It was pretty steady all day, and then out of no where I got slammed after everyone left. I actually stuck around in the control room and socialized, I usually run off into the office and keep to myself when I can lol.
It was definitely a coffee morning for me. People have all kinds of rituals to the start of their day. Mine happens to be taking a shower and washing my hair, other people need their cups of coffee, checking their e-mail or the winning numbers on a lotto ticket. I get it, no big deal...we all need things so we can actually function. I start my mornings always by taking my meds first thing. If I don't, I will absolutely forget. I pop some quick pills, head to the bathroom, brush my teeth then shower. I read somewhere that shampooing your hair, isn't good for girls everyday. WELL, I beg to differ. They say it clogs your pores or whatever in your head. My hair is long, straight and fine. If I DON'T take a shower and wash my hair everyday, it gets all greasy and I look like I just rolled out of the trailer park. Disgusting. Carol says it's because your pores are opening up and cleaning themselves out. I say it's disgusting for my type of hair. Some people can get away with not washing their hair, it's just a fact of life I have oily skin thus I MUST SCRUB.
It's a known fact as you get older, your bodily fluids decrease. Dry skin starts to set in, and therefore people don't shower every day. It'll be one cold day in hell, the day I do not take a shower. Gross. I don't understand why people don't want to smell good. If you're an old lady, you don't smell gross therefore not need a shower EVERYDAY but like twice a week then fine. I prefer not to smell like a sweaty gym locker and a can of tuna. MOVING ON...
I scooted to DD and picked myself up a nice iced coffee. YUM. I sipped on it for most of the morning, it was great! Maybe that's why today was better than others? Hmm, not sure. Tressa is a good friend of mine at work. She had gastric bypass done over a year ago, and she looks awesome! I'm so proud of her! It's really nice that I get to see her pretty often, because she's done everything and tried different ways to lose weight. She is super sweet and encouraging, I really appreciate that I have a friend at work that can keep me in check. Before she left for the day, she popped her head into the office and told me that I was looking really good! Super excited! Even though I'm stuck at the 20lb mark, I still seem to be losing inches and that's great. I can't wait to start slimming down some more, so I can buy new summer clothes and be fabulous!
I hopped on the scale today and it estimated me still at two pounds less than last week. Still good, but I'm pushing to lose at least four more by my appointment next Wednesday. I'm staying positive and keeping myself alert...you never know what good things and bad things might come your way. Either scenario, I'm banking on the good ones to come in strides! :)
Today, was not a good day. I went to the gym earlier today, got in the shower and hopped in the car. Took a drive out and ended up spending some time outside. Some days you just need to be alone with your thoughts I guess.
I went hiking up to this place we call the eagle's nest. It's along side the railroad tracks, up the side of a hill. Super peaceful out there and there's something really calming about it. I've been under the gun and I'm feeling an incredible amount of pressure. It's all work related. I'm not going to get into great detail on here, but let's just say I need to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming weeks.
Changes are inevitable, in every shape and form. I just wish that these changes would hurry the hell up and get here, so all of us could relax a little bit.This whole job, has been a serious eye opener to me. I've worked A LOT of jobs for someone my age, and I've never been presented with the challenges I've had at this one. Politics in the work place, is something that will ALWAYS exist, no getting rid of it. I'm just hoping that whatever the next few weeks has in store for me, it won't rock my world too hard so I spin off my axis and lose it all together. I need to stay focused, on everything right now that matters. Meaning dealing with things at work, and getting around them effectively--and staying track on my weight. My weight and my health, are something that I can physically control. Other elements in my life, well they just are unpredictable. No worries, it's not like I'm losing my job or anything (knock on wood) there are just a laundry list of things I have to effectively deal around is all.
Nikki called me tonight and told me that I'd be so proud of her, which I am! She's decided to join Weight Watchers again, and has scheduled her weigh in days pretty much around mine. It'll definitely be easier for us together socially, now that we have each other to lean on. Weight Watchers didn't really work for me, I don't do well counting and measuring out crap probably because I'm lazy lol. With Aviva, everything is already measured and all you have to do is mix it or eat it. No big deal. Nikki did WW on her own, and lost like 20lbs--so obviously do what works for you! Anyway, I feel a little better knowing I won't be the only party pooper lol.
I weighed myself today, and it looks like I've lost almost two pounds. No weigh in this week, I couldn't get an appointment. Need to lose another four pounds by next week and I can totally do it. The work stress, will probably help me shed it off--no lie. When I'm super stressed I either gain or lose. A few months ago, I lost six pounds alone from it. Not the healthiest way to lose, but I haven't gained it back so I'm fine with it. I wouldn't really say, I'm harping on work and going out and having fun will be good for me. It's a band aid that I don't want to put on. Thinking there's an easy fix, and not being smart about things never ends well for me.
It's been totally gorgeous these past few days, so much that wasting them entirely should be considered a sin! I've been pretty good about getting my exercise in lately. It's starting to get so nice out, staying inside is just not in the cards for me---especially when I'm off of work!
I went running the other day around the neighborhood before I got around to go run errands. After a few years of deliberation, I decided to join the newly discovered race of Twits and get on Twitter. It's kind of nutty on there, lots of people throwing out a lot of quotes, motivational things and generally messed up randomness. Anyway, I added a button to at the top left of my blog in case any other Twits would be interested in following me. It's just for fun. But anyway, I run down the street to this bridge and back again. I mapped it out a long time ago and discovered there and back is about a mile. We have a treadmill, but it's too nice out to stay in and sweat. My neighbors were walking their dog a few yards behind me. I got home and hopped into the shower and got ready to leave, but I had to get the mail first. My neighbor Rick came over and asked me why I would start running so fast during my jog...then he looked at me funny when I told him I pretend zombies are chasing me so I run faster! HAHA! It's true though, every time I feel myself slowing down I think of something chasing me to go faster. When I lift weights on the machines, I just think about how chunky I used to be and I get mad so I push harder. Whatever motivates you right? The whole Twitter thing tied in, because I tweeted that lol, if you were wondering.
I never remember to stretch, until I'm aching the next day. Marissa called me and asked me if I wanted to go out for a walk with her and Jake. Jake is her dog, and he's pretty hilarious. She swung by my house, and we scooted down the street. No idea what I was thinking, didn't change into my gym clothes so I wore my chucks walking. BAD IDEA. No support at all. We got up towards a hill we aimed to walk up, but my legs were like jello and we decided not to do the hill after all. Oh well, I'm not too upset about it because when I got home both of my legs went into charlie horse spasms and I thought my legs were going to fall off.
The quickest way to get rid of them, is to stand up so your feet are flat on the floor. It hurts like a mofo, but trust me it'll make them stop. I've been eating bananas, not too many because they have a high sugar content in them. I also take potassium supplements, so I've came to the conclusion to stop being a moron and stretch BEFORE AND AFTER I work out!
Idk now to title this entry. I'm all over the place!
My Sundays are usually lazy, and I like to spend time with family. Switching the clocks ahead did trip me up a bit. These past few days I've been staying up until about 5am every night! Craziness. I feel like Tyler Durden! I appreciate it getting light out faster, but it'll take everyone a bit of adjusting.
It was so nice out today, no joke! This time of the year, our area has been known to have spontaneous snow storms! We've been super fortunate to have a mild winter, maybe the Gods are giving us a break finally! Our area is still recovering from the flooding in September. Speaking of which, I was reading The Huffington Post just now about Japan. I wonder if people realize it's taken Japan only ONE YEAR to make giant strides in recovery, and New Orleans SIX years late is still struggling. WHAT THE HELL AMERICA?! PULL IT TOGETHER. I love our country, I do. I think that everyone should actually venture their asses out there and explore our home land, before they go off and explore different ones. Lucky for me, I've had adventure in my blood since I was a young child and have seen all the states but Alaska. There is NO REASON why there should be starving people in America. Feeding America is a pretty well known charity, that literally feeds America. I'm a huge fan of Top Chef and they raise all sorts of money for this worthy cause. But, I just can't wrap my head around it. I'm not naive to the facts. I know there are starving people all over the world, but fuck America---are you serious?! Our country IS ONE OF THE LEADING SOCIETIES IN OBESITY! So how the fuck do explain WHY there are people that ARE WITHOUT FOOD!? Disgusting.
I'm getting off my soapbox now. Anyway, I went for a run today outside because it was super nice. You have to enjoy everyday that you're able to! Why stay inside when the sun is shining and it's fabulous?! Because you're stupid, that's why! HA! Just kidding...sort of. I had plans with Poppy today. He's my ex's grandfather, and yes we are still close. To be frank, I don't care what anyone thinks about me being close with his family. We build relationships with PEOPLE, who cares how you met them. Every so often, he e-mails me wanting to visit and I enjoy our visits. Poppy is one of the smartest men I know, and we have great conversation. We had dinner with the family, and went to the movies after. He's a big fan of silent films, which he has passed onto Kara. Ive been dying to see The Artist, and it happened to just come to our area.
I LOVED IT. I watched silent films as a kid, and just had a real fascination with them. It is truly an art to be able to convey such emotion with no words. I wasn't sure if I would like it, but after watching The Oscars---now I HAD TO! We had a great time! Kara and I fell in love with the movie, Poppy thought it was okay but still a decent flick. I highly recommend it to anyone who is a movie lover.
I had half of a stuffed pepper for dinner with salad. It reminded me so much of my Grandpa...even makes me emotional. Grandpa used to make stuffed peppers, I was never a big fan but I ate one today for him. I love the smell of them cooking, but I really like green peppers raw. Anyway, I was already feeling emotional before we left for the movies--so I'm glad there were a lot of laughs during it. It was truly a moving piece. I felt everything those actors were portraying and i loved every minute of it. For anyone else interested in seeing something similar, you need to see Hugo. It's fantastic!
Anyway, that's all for now! As far as my weight goes, I'm hoping to lose at least five to six pounds by next appointment. Keep in mind, I wasn't able to get an appointment this week--so I technically have about nine more days to do it!
I had a long talk with my dad today, while we were out running errands. My dad is everything to me. He's my rock, he's my mentor, and I owe a lot of who I am to him. It's not often that my dad just up and gets into serious conversations with me, unless I bring it up. He's got a super good poker face, and heart of gold.
Family is becoming so much more important to me, than it ever was before. Being there for one another and supporting the ones you love the most, is truly being blessed. If you're lucky, you'll never lose the love of your family--for anything. Being exposed to all different people over the years, has hit home big time as to how lucky I am. I'm one of the luckiest girls in the world, because I have a family that loves me no matter what. I've been working on my relationship with my mom, and it's been getting easier with her. You can't change people, but what you can do is change your reaction to them. To each their own. Our family is no different than anyone else's struggles. Everyone's pain is the same. Turning your struggles, into success...ahh there is no better feeling.
I'm not going to get into too many personal details on here, but it makes me so happy to see people make huge strides and come backs. Some of us will allow the hate of others to destroy our lives. The way I see it, get a fire under your ass and prove them wrong. No need to spread rumors, no need to back bit. You just keep on keepin' on, and live your life!
If y'all remember a few posts ago, I recommended one of my friends to make an appointment at Aviva. I caught up with him over texts, and I'm super excited it went well! He's looking to lose weight, just like anyone else that seeks her services.
I'm always curious to see what other people think about care providers. Some people put all their trust and faith into their doctors, without really getting a feel for what they're like. For years I've been going to my primary doctor, putting all my trust in the office. He's super busy and so began more and more visits with his FNP. Not that she isn't nice or anything, it wasn't until I started going to Dr. Cusimano when I realized she was the doctor for me. I had been going to my primary for a long time, probably over eight years trying to figure out why I had been gaining so much weight quickly. No answers, nada--zip. They just figured I was a young girl, who had weight issues just like every other girl. WRONG.
I learned my lesson about four years ago, and it was a lesson that will scar me for the rest of my life. Literally. When you grow up, you just stick with going to the doctor your parents go to--right? Having worked directly with patients and doctors, I'll give you all some advice:
DON'T SETTLE.
Would you buy the first car you test drove on the lot, just because it smelled new? That's a negative Ghost Writer. It is a super difficult task finding a doctor that is right for you. A good doctor, will always be available to schedule a consultation. Find out about your doctor, after all this person is going to hold a certain amount of responsibility for your health hello! Feeling awkward leaving a practice is yes, uncomfortable--but is it worth you staying there getting shitty care when it can absolutely be better?
It wasn't until my second procedure I had done for cervical ca, when I started to question things. How is this possible? I went through about seven biopsies (before and after), and already had a surgical procedure--now you're telling me I have to have another one?! It probably helped, that I watched a 20/20 special specifically about gynecologists making mistakes. Young women were going in for hysterectomies, because they were told they had cervical cancer----when in all reality they had precancerous cells. Something that can be monitored. Now these women will never be able to bear children, they don't have any reproductive organs! WTF. Like hell was this going to happen to me. I talked to a friend from work, and she recommended me to my gyno I go to now. Dr. Lucci, is probably one of the nicest people I know. Before I made any decisions to switch to him, he sat with me two different times consulting my case and chart. He sat for 45mins listening and watching my cry my eyes out. He explained everything I needed to know, and he left the door open to not pressure me into becoming his patient.
Going to Aviva, has practically saved my life. Corny I know, but it's so true. Dr. Cusimano and her staff at Aviva are super thorough and take the time to get to know their patients. I asked my friend what he thought of the staff, and told him he could be honest. His reaction was the same as mine, super nice and caring. They didn't treat us like we were just another dollar sign.
Don't be afraid to do your homework, find a doctor that you connect with. Because in all reality, you can't trust just anyone with your health.
It's been a while, since I've had time with my girls.
I got a hold of Tracy earlier this week, and asked her if she wanted to do dinner sometime this week. Tracy and I have been super busy, but we're lucky to have the same weekends off. The same weekend I'm off, she doesn't have her step children so it works out perfectly. I haven't seen her since her wedding in August, so I was itching really bad to catch up with her.
Nikki and I have decided to only eat at places, where they have really good salads. I suggested going to Texas Roadhouse, since their salads are ahhhmazing! Jax ended up meeting with us as well, which was super awesome too. We all happened to order salads. I forgot how BIG they were, and I barely put a dent in it! Nikki swears by dipping salad into dressing, versus dumping it on your plate. She's probably right, that it uses less dressing...but I just can't do it. I started chipping away at my salad, without any dressing. In all actuality, it probably didn't need much at all. I got the Chicken Critter salad, which has pieces of chicken on it, lots of lettuce, tomatoes, eggs and a little bacon on it. I started in on the salad without the dressing, then began to dip it. WEIRD. It's super foreign to me, guess it'll be something I'll have to get used to. Anyway, I ended up just drizzling the dressing on the salad anyway and mixing it all up. After eating like a quarter of it, I got super full. I didn't end up taking it home (TOTAL waste, I KNOW...ugh) because it would have been soggy and gross because of the dressing. Yet another reason, why I should have just stuck with dipping.
It was really nice to catch up with the girls, and just have a relaxed chilled out night. Didn't include any drinking or eating badly at all. It's really been great to have the support of your friends behind you, keeping you on track. Dr. Cusimano said if she accomplished changing the way I think to make healthier choices, than she's succeeded as a doctor. I think she's right! :)
Wednesday was so beautiful out! I got up and went outside to check the weather. It's been totally opposite of what it should be this time of year...thanks global warming! It was about 55 degrees and sunny! I strapped on my Nikes and hit the ground running...after changing out of my jammies of course! Got in a nice run before the start of my day!
With a great start off to my day, I was ready to face anything! Got my chores done, got in a mile run and now I was off to Aviva! She set me up with about three nurse visits before I meet with her again, totally normal. I scooted into the office feeling pretty accomplished. I hopped on the scale and discovered, I hadn't lost anything. Zip, ziltch. It doesn't really surprise me, considering I've been making strides to work out more. I wasn't too upset about it, I know I'll lose it and catch up. Everyone seemed to be in a tizzy in the office, things went more quickly than usual! So fast, that I forgot to turn in my HRA paperwork for my insurance, and they forgot to give me my learning module for the week!
When I checked out, I set up my appointment. I've been noticing more and more people coming into the office with their little white binders...clear sign they are on her weight loss program. Because I work every other week, my appointment times vary. I usually like to schedule my appointments on my work week early in the morning before work, considering that's the only time I can go that week. Welp, luck would have it--she had NO openings that I could take. So, looks like I'm on my own for the next two weeks...
I'm confident that my scale is calibrated enough, where I can figure it out on my own. I'll still log my weight in and keep up on my regiment!
Yippy skippy! So glad to be out of work for the next week! Weather here has been anything but normal, so I finally get to enjoy a week when Spring makes it's first appearance! Work wasn't so bad today, actually went smoother than most of my "Fridays" do. I was anxious to get out all the same though!
What better way to end your work week, than a visit to your favorite store?! You guessed it, I drove my ass straight to Target. I have massive issues. The whole reason why I went there was to buy Game of Thrones. For any of you wondering what that is, you should kill yourselves right after you read this blog post! It has to be one of the BEST shows I've seen in a LONG time! I love HBO and Showtime shows, they are put together so well. While I was there, I picked up Downton Abbey Season 2, Boardwalk Empire, and Immortals. I just can't pass up kick ass deals for box set series and a new flick. I'm super excited to watch them ALL! I still need to add True Blood and The Tudors to my collection, but all in good time my dear Watson--all in good time.
While I was there, I scoped out the fitness section. Why are gym clothes so expensive?! You're just going to sweat your ass off in them, throw em in the wash until next time. I mean seriously people, get a freaking grip! Luckily I found myself in the 30% off isle, where I found pants for $17 and shirts for $9. I ended up getting two shirts and just one pair of pants. I have enough gym pants to last me a while, until I need to get a smaller size! So excited about that. Weight loss and fitness has become such a booming literal empire. Everything from really fly sneakers, trendy gym clothing and must have supplements. Makes me wonder if I'm in the wrong field!
Ashley went to sign up again for Planet Fitness and she was telling me about all the changes. I haven't been going to the gym like I should. My work schedule is always messed up, and I miss three days at the gym because I don't want to go early before work. Lazy, I know...but when you bust your ass seven days straight, 12 hour shifts maybe you'll sympathize with me a bit more. I currently just have the basic membership, which costs me $10 a month. A complete and utter STEAL for a gym membership. I'm planning on going back in and upgrading to the black card. It's $20 a month, but has way more perks. I can bring friends to the gym for free, unlimited use of tanning beds, massage chairs, half off cooler drinks and training sessions. Planet Fitness just got these infrared booths or some shit. Ashley was telling me about it, they're supposed to help with cellulite reduction and metabolic activity. I figure my pasty ass needs to get some color (and YES Han, I'll wear sunscreen AND keep a shirt over my face) so I should just get the black card again. I'm really interested to see what the "red light room" does for you. Marissa said they have like beauty consultants or some shit there now. If I can kill two birds with one stone, working out and beautifying myself--why the hell not! LOL
As for now, I got the empire state of mind. The empire of, Thao needs to get healthy that is!
There are certain things in life that are just beyond our control. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself as a control freak, but I do like to plan things out. When crazy scenarios pop up or threaten radical change in my life, I work out possibilities quick on my feet. Surprises are fun, when they're the good kind! These past few months have been tight on my wallet, that being said I need to start investing for future plans of mine.
Concerning my weight loss and medical program, it hasn't been cheap. The insurance coverage is definitely better than nothing. It covers 70% of my costs, the other 30% I of course pay out of pocket. It takes money and dedication for the plan that I've chosen, but it's money WELL worth it! I've been thinking about getting Velashapedone, after I've lost my weight. Velashape is a tool used for body sculpting. It kind of looks like a vacuum cleaners extension with rollers on the end of it. They offer it at my office, and I'm thinking it would be a great idea to get rid of cellulite. It's probably super expensive. Considering things like this are cosmetic, there's no way in hell my insurance will cover it. My skin won't really be an issue after I drop all the weight I need to. I'm starting to hit the gym harder, and I'm lucky my skin is young and still elastic! Velashape helps patients flatten out that excess cellulite/fat areas that are pesky to get rid of. It's pretty interesting actually. Has anyone ever heard of it out there? Any thoughts?
I'm going to ask Ciarra about it when I go in for my appointment on Wednesday. Get a price quote, so I know what I'm working with. Planet Fitness finally changed their hours, open 24hours/7 days a week! YAY! Before they were 24 hours Mon-Thurs, 7am-7pm Fri-Sun. Royal pain in the ass! My work weeks are weird, so when I was going I'd have to miss three days of the gym, because of my work schedule. I have no idea where my mp3 player is, so this means I'm going to have to break down and get an iPod for the gym now. Guess it's not so bad, they're pretty cheap anymore. Maybe I'll just get a shuffle or something. Ehh, I don't know. I never use iTunes and I don't really download music anywhere. Might as well just use my phone at the gym, I'll just Pandora it! LOL
Anyway, my main focus for a while is going to be sticking to my weight loss plan, hitting the gym more and saving up for Velashape! Beach season is just around the corner y'all, and I plan on wearing a nice suit by the end of it! I've never worn a bikini in my life, and I think it's about time! Even when I was skinny, I always stuck with tankinis. They just made me feel less exposed, like a security blanket or something. Can't wait to go out and buy new clothes for summer, shorts and dresses yippy skippy!
See Thao, see Thao make healthy choices, see Thao melt!
After being out last night, I was super tired. Most everyone thought I was hungover, judging by the look on my face when I walked in holding my Gatorade. Even on my work weeks, I still obviously go out. I need to have a life, even if it's just meeting up to hang out. I've been VERY good about not staying out 'til the wee hours of the morning. Still, some weeks it catches up with me fore sure! My co-workers are used to seeing me like this on the weekends. It's one of those looks like--no one talk to me for at least ten minutes! They usually leave me alone...except for the one person I'm having issues with. This person just never gets the freaking hint, but whatever. I've learned to ignore them pretty much entirely and just say one worded answers. Cut things short. No, I have not confronted them yet. Keep in mind the word yet. In all honesty, it wasn't as bad as the last weekend, but I'm willing to let it go for another rotation and see what happens. Don't need trouble when I'm looking for other opportunities within the company.
A good friend of mine is leaving work. She got a job at a private doctor's office and I couldn't be more happier for her! I, along with many others are super sad to see her go--but so glad we had the privilege of working and getting to know her. She came over today to work part of the weekend, and she complimented me saying she noticed I had dropped a lot of weight! I was so excited! The first thing that Nikki and Marissa said when they saw me, was "you're tiny!". I don't know about tiny, but I'm definitely smaller than I used to be! It feels so good to have people notice. You look at yourself in the mirror everyday, and don't see all phases of weight loss and gain. When you're as big as I was, it just was something lingering in the back of your mind. "I know I'm overweight, but I don't look that bad" kind of talk. Well YOU DO. At least that's how I feel about it now, especially because now I SEE THE DIFFERENCE. My clothes are fitting better, and I'm feeling entirely better about myself. I'm still worried that I won't drop another 20lbs by May, only because it's taken me so long to drop the first 20.
Speaking of which, I miscalculated! I thought I only lost 18lbs and when I looked through my log, I was wrong! I'm officially at 20lbs melted away, and going strong onto the next 20! I've spent a lot of time looking for weight charts, something that I can just plug information into and have it graphed out. I guess I could just use Excel, but I'm too lazy to figure out how to set up all the cells. The Android Market had an app I downloaded, but I found a REALLY awesome site! WeightChart.com is my perfect online tool! It literally tracks your weight loss on a graph, and you can set weight goals. Based on your logs you can punch into it, it records your BMI, percentage of fat, how many calories you're supposed to intake etc. It's a really great tool for anyone interested in visually seeing it on a chart.
My personal weight chart
You can also upload pictures onto your account too, so you can SEE your progress! I haven't done this yet, but I totally plan to. It's totally personal and private. You of course don't have to make your account public. There are others on the site that do, and it's kind of cool to follow their stories. No fabrication of any sort, everyone isn't losing all their weight. There are some charts I checked out where people gained, lost tons and slowly gained it back. It's a great tool for anyone to use. A good visual motivator, almost like a timeline log of your weight loss journey. Combined with my blogging, it's a permanent visual record that I CAN SUCCEED.
