My theory on Mother Nature

She's a nasty bitch.

It's been cold as fuck here in the Northeast region of the country, and I'm blaming Mother Nature. It was my bright idea years ago, to buy a five speed manual car. Don't get me wrong, I love driving stick. However, I'm kicking myself in the ass now! I'd kill for an automatic car starter but alas, it's too risky to bypass the clutch to install one.

When I say cold, I mean fucking cold. Single digit, negative degree windchill. I was born and raised here, but it's been colder than usual. Mother Nature must be having some sick kind of hot flash, and insists on keeping it cool to tame her bipolar menopausal fit of rage. 

So I'm bitching about her, because I think she is a jealous bitch. Think about it, she's a big as the world and wants us to suffer. What better way to do that, than drop the temp so we deter from doing anything! It's too cold to go out, so no outside activities besides running to your car. All this cold weather makes me want to do, is stay curled up in bed, with a mug of hot coffee or cocoa, stuff my face with junk and live off of comfort food and soup until the weather breaks.

And when the weather does break, it's like a sick cosmic joke. It'll start to get warm, and you'll suddenly realize you're Shamu's stunt double on the beach. Your summer clothes are too snug, and your legs are so lumpy people will mistake you for being partially dressed as The Michelin tire man, and when you wave to your friends other parts of your arms wave too. 

It's hard not to get discouraged during this time of the year. Post holiday binging is always tough for you to recoup from. My advice, be extra careful watching what you eat, and find other ways to keep yourself active. Don't let that Jealous mean Mother Nautre, trick you into sliding back to old habits. Make her fucking pay for giving you such a shitty winter, and take fun advantage of when she gives us summer weather. Make her pay by looking AMAZING for summer; and when it rains, I promise you it's that bitch crying because you look so damn good!

Do it for...

Exactly.

We all have our own reasons for embarking onto unknown territory, why not make it count? There are several reasons to lose weight, but a big factor is YOUR happiness in the outcome. For my regular readers, I've posted before about what kick started "The Melting Girl" phenomenon. I was thinking of the future. All pregnant women believe they are GIGANTIC during pregnancy, but could you imagine being just even overweight and pregnant?! Witnessing a 450lb woman have a C-section in the OR, didn't help. It took two anesthesiologists, a GI surgeon and two OBGYNs. It was horrific to say the least. 

There's not a particular time restraint I'm under to have kids, I just don't want to be horribly fat and get pregnant. It will already be a difficult pregnancy for me as it is, let alone being overweight; which is something under my total control. This was one of the biggest reasons why I wanted to shed the pounds.

It's really all in your mind. I never realized just how unhappy I was. I physically carry my emotional weight, not to mention all the other shit I picked up from people. It essentially all boiled down to me being ready.

After college I made it a priority to focus on my weight. Nutrisystem and Weight Watchers were both great programs, however not for me. I was successful in losing weight on both, but hit plateaus. They weren't disciplined enough for me. Don't get me wrong, do what works for you. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of trial and error to figure it out. 

To be honest, I think it was just a combination of timing. When I started Aviva, I truly was ready. You know when you wake up and suddenly everything has changed, and it's not a bad thing? That's literally what happened to me. I had been working through a lot of things in my life that were truly fucking scary. It took bravery and a lot of courage, but it was worth every second. I didn't realize it at the time, but working through emotional shit I had stuffed, made every bit of difference. 

So even though my reasons for losing weight were ordinary healthy ones, I was surprised to find out just how much mind over matter fucks shit up. Healthy mind, healthy body people. 

But you should still do it for the "holy shit you got hot!". 

Observing Sherlock

I'm kind of obsessed with the show "Sherlock".

I have a ridiculous knack for being an extremely observant person. My friends think I've missed my calling entirely, that I should have been a PI or taken Ester's place on "Girl Code". Let's face it, the bitch is not funny. Either way, I'm just fine sitting where I'm at.

For the past few months I've realized I should cut back on planning. I'm a serious, SERIOUS, planner and I'm bored with it. Playing things by ear is so much more entertaining, and the fact that I'm super self reliant helps a lot too. That means I'm not at the mercy of anyone else. I'm just really fascinated with how people function. The human body is so crazy to me. I'm 100% convinced that it would take lifetimes to understand it fully, and when you do understand it you'll lost likely spontaneously combust. 

I'm no expert by any stretch, but I'm starting to figure out what makes me happy. I've taken comfort and a lot of leisure in just living my life daily. If I can do one thing that's really fun each day, one thing that is semi educational, one thing that is healthy, I'll truly be a golden girl. John Lennon said that life is what happens while you're busy planning. He's absolutely right. Don't get me wrong, I'm not turning into a hippy. I'd be an AWFUL hippy, I fucking detest patchouli. However there is some serious truth to his words. 

I've spent the last few months observing and analyzing people around me. What makes them tick, what sets them off, what makes them happy and what doesn't. I could honestly care less about how it pertains to them, as much as how much I've learned from observing them. Sorry everyone, I'm not trying to be a cold hard bitch. My goal is just to simplify things. Let go of things that honestly serve no purpose in my life, except just for pure torment and misery. 

You can learn a great deal from people watching. You can learn even MORE by observing them. I may be The Great Mouse Detective, but I promise you it's not just for the sake of wearing a really great trench coat! 

Fucking Vanilla.

No matter how many different brands I try, vanilla protein shakes are just not my friend. 

I have some weird food expectations. I've explained this before. I'm always curious to try vanilla protein shakes, because I love vanilla! Well NOT this vanilla debauchery. It's disgusting. I'm glad I ordered the sample box of Shakeology, otherwise like a dummy I would have ordered a month supply of vanilla and chocolate. Oh and by the way fuck you too just a little bit chocolate Shakeology, for being so good that I thought the vanilla would be a game changer. 

It was around 10am when I decided to make this shake. Let me set the mood. The snow was fresh, glistening as the sun hit hundreds of tiny snowflakes in the air. It looked like a magical land, peaks of puffed white fluff scattered everywhere. What a great day to try something vanilla! Not all fairy tales have happy endings folks. Sorry to burst your bubbles but the melting girl does not lie. 

So I got all my shit out to whip up a vanilla shake, and to be honest my expectations were high. I was a bit afraid, because let's face it...anything you try for the first time is scary! This marks my 5th brand of vanilla protein shake I tried, and I've struck out every single time. 

Upon opening up the package, I wasn't impressed with the smell. It smelled like flour and cornstarch, yuck. But I remembered that I wasn't impressed at all with the chocolate, and I was so pleasantly surprised! I figured this was the same thing, so how bad could it be?

IT WAS PRETTY FUCKING BAD. I tasted it, and honestly wish that I hadn't, it tasted like shit. There was a sickening sweetness that lingered after you drank it, that asparatame flavor. I HATE that taste, I'd honestly rather have just regular sugar or stevia. This was so sickening sweet I had a hard time finishing it. I have it a good try, but ended up dumping it down the drain. 

They tried to make it like a vanilla bean type flavor I think. The shake was speckled with dark flecks in it, sort of how vanilla bean ice cream would look. In my experience anything vanilla flavored, tastes anything but vanilla. 

Needless to say I will never, I MEAN NEVER, attempt to drink vanilla protein shakes again. This whole experience has scarred me for life! Gross! So this fairy tale ended up being a horror story sequel...but with a productive ending. I'll go ahead and order the chocolate Shakeology, and see how it goes. 

Vitamitaveganmin

I was finally able to meet Tali yesterday!

I had my first appointment with her, and I have to say she's not what I expected at all. That's a good thing by the way! She was super warm and friendly, very thorough in explanations, and attentive. I checked her out on google, and the picture that popped up instantly made me a bit scared of her. She just looked really intense, and reminded me of Donnatella Versace lol. Anyway, she is young, full of life and I got a sense she really enjoyed being a doctor.

My appointment had been out off so many times, due to scheduling difficulties. She works at a local hospital here, and she also runs her own office. Between both if our schedules, it proved to be difficult. Anyway, I was very curious to see how my labs were. I haven't had lab work drawn since probably around April or May. 

I'm happy to report back that almost all of my lab work came back completely normal and healthy. Except for my Vitamin D and B-12 levels. Living in Upstate New York definitely had it's disadvantages. Being one of the most clouded areas, the lack of sun doesn't help. I take vitamins on a regular basis, but for some reason the D and B-12 values have plummeted significantly. 

I get a Lipotonix injection at my appointments. It's essentially a B-12 injection. I like them because I know it goes directly into the blood stream, and it gives me an extra boost. The normal range for Vitamin D should be 30-100, mine was 9. 

Tali ended up prescribing me a Vitamin D pill that holds 50,000 IUs. It's to be taken once a week, for eight weeks. After I'm done, I'm to continue taking the normal does of about 2,000 IUs, and have my blood work redone.

To tell you the truth, I have been extremely tired lately. Like I can't function and my head has been foggy, I blamed it on lack of sleep and pushing myself too hard week after week. I have so much going on, I get caught up in stretching myself too thin. 

I took my first dose of the vitamin D yesterday, and felt SO much better today. To tell you guys the truth, I took the day completely off. I slept in, watched Spartacus, and caught up on my Sherlock lol. Sometimes vegging out, is just what the doctor ordered! 

I'm going on a hunt tomorrow to find some liquid Vitamin D and B-12. I could easily order online, but I'd rather just have it now. Impulse I guess. I have a tendency to do that. If I need or want something, I just go and get it myself. I'll try hitting up Vitamin World and GNC first, and probably some health stores around the area. If all else fails, I'll just order them online.

My cholesterol is excellent, my triglycerides are in completely normal range (Tali said I wasn't even close to being a pre-pre diabetic), kidney function is excellent, TSH levels are great, I passed with flying colors! Being vitamin deficient is definitely changeable, and within my control. 

I have an appointment with Cody in two weeks, and follow up with Tali in a month. All together, I've been feeling great! I'll be posting my review on Vanilla Shakeology tomorrow. I actually gave my Greenberry shake to my sister, after I found out it was mostly wheat grass...not my favorite. 

Hope you all had a great day, and remember to take your vitamins! 

Happy New Year!

How was everyone's first week of the brand spankin' new year?!

I'm almost always amazed at my own will, and determination concerning some things. This year will be the last NYE I'll have off in four years, should I stay where I'm at. I've NEVER let my schedule get in the way of having a life, so I do what I need to! 

This year was a strange one. No one really had any set plans, and I was totally okay with that. I like to be more prepared than what I encountered, but whatever. I had enough time to buy myself a new dress, some fun glittery fishnet stockings, and a new lip stain. Fabulous! Stan, Will and I came up with a great plan to do what we called "Tour de Bingo". Which meant we went party and bar hopping. 

I wasn't sure how the night was going to pan out, I just went with it. Even with everyone else's drama around me, I had a SO MUCH FUN. It's so nice to be the one without drama or baggage, and the amount of drinks I had definitely helped! 

All of my friends know my drinking habits. I usually take shots or have a few drinks first, then nurse a beer or a drink for the rest of the night. I drank entirely too much when I was younger, and ehh it's just not my thing anymore. Whelp, needless to say I got pleasantly smashed and had fun every fucking last minute of 2013.

I'm looking forward to what 2014 will be like. In all honesty, I'm making this year my bitch. I'm over the days of the past, 2013 brought very little to the table for me...and very little to my blog as you all can see. I'm not expecting the world this year, but it's got to be better than what I went through last year. 

So here's to a better life, a better you, more lessons to be learned, things to experience, run hard because you have dreams to chase.