"And I RIPPED it out!"

My favorite scene from Up!

I've decided that someone out there, must be trying to make me laugh. Sometimes I have long streaks of bad luck. I get mad most of the time, but I'm learning to be more easy going about it and laugh it off. Yesterday was the second day I haven't been wearing eyeliner. I don't wear it if I'm not going or doing anything important. Whenever I don't wear it, my eyes itch like a mofo. I'm not even joking. If I could have rubbed my eyes right out of their sockets yesterday, I would have. Needless to say, the universe is OBVIOUSLY telling me--I can NEVER NOT WEAR EYELINER.

A few days ago I went to get my car inspected. My first task five years ago starting my job, was to buy myself a nice car. I had been driving beater cars for most of my teenage life, and it was time to get a good one. As luck would have it, I got a great deal on a 2007 Camry 5 speed. It was exactly what I wanted. Thank God I didn't end up buying a Lexus. You'll soon know why. About three months into buying my car, I got T-Boned at a gas station near my house. Of course it was MY FAULT per State Farm because I was backing up. But the old man driving the over sized Jimmy, speeding had no fault at all. He hit me so hard, it picked up my back bumper and twisted my car about 90 degrees from where I was. Soon after that, about six months later I was hit AGAIN. Someone tried to parallel park behind my car and scraped the shit out of my bumper. I wasn't there when it happened, but judging by the marks left on it the cops knew. Mind you, this was the NEW bumper I had replaced from the Jimmy accident. Over the winter months, I was driving my mom, Hien and Whitney to Macy's. Boy was that a trip from hell. My mother is the most annoying backseat driver you'll find in a thousand mile radius. I shit you not. For a woman who likes to be a passenger, she can sure as hell tell you exactly how to drive. This girl was driving her Jeep cutting across the parking lot, and was about to hit me. I cranked my wheel to the right, and all I heard was ::CCHHHRRRSSSSHHHHHH:: and me yelling "mother fucker!" of course. I got out of my car to find that my side skirt was ripped off and sliced from the curb I hit to avoid dumb blonde in Jeep. Off I went to get my baby fixed again.

As luck would have it, Black Betty was sparkling pretty. I picked her up from the shop on the way to work. Minding my own business on the highway, I saw this big black thing out of the corner of my eye. You know when things like paper or I don't know objects fly at your windshield and you duck--even though you know it won't literally hit your face? Yep. There I was, on a three lane highway with nowhere to go. This big ass crow was flying right towards my driver side window, and there was nothing I could do but duck! After I opened up my eyes, there were black feathers EVERYWHERE! The stupid crow must have been attracted to my sparkling paint job and decided it wanted to face plant. If my window had been opened, I would have crow in my car and probably DIED! I pulled over of course, but didn't get out. I really didn't need to considering I could visibly see the damage to my car. My outside mirror was hanging by wired with crow feathers and blood all over it. Back to the shop I went. I'm on a first name basis with them over there now lol.

So after I got my car inspected this past week, my sun visor decided it didn't want to stay up. I've noticed for about five years now--as long as I've owned the car, that it never closed all the way. It wasn't a big deal so I never got it looked at. It was when I pulled into the driveway when I noticed it was down. YUP, you guessed it. Another broken body part for Betty. I tried to flip it all the way out facing the windshield, and it flopped right back down. I tried to duct tape it and low and behold, duct tape doesn't stick on upholstery. I had about a zillion things to do that day, and needed my effing car. So I pulled an Up move, and ripped the bitch right off. So now I have my sun visor sitting in my backseat. Later on I looked online, apparently that was a recall. They probably won't cover it now, because I ripped it out. It was extremely dangerous to drive, considering it was directly in my field of view. There was no way I was going to sit my ass at home ALL WEEK without my car. I don't care, I'll just pay whatever it costs to fix it. 

I strolled into work today, and there wasn't a drop in the sky. All of the sudden, torrential downpour. Of course I had bright yellow scrubs on, and by the time I got to the door I looked like a drown rat. My hair was completely soaked, my scrubs sticking to my legs and my purse was drenched. What a GREAT start to my work week. It wasn't until about an hour later, when I looked outside and saw it was sunny and gorgeous. I could have gotten mad or thrown myself a pity party, but I just laughed instead. Someone somewhere is trying to add a little humor in my life.