The ride home

I do a lot of thinking while I'm on the road.

I spent most of yesterday pretty much just relaxing and putting around. It was my last day to recover before I headed back to work for another rotation. I'm finding my mind isn't firing as quickly as it used to. Could it have been the crazy weekend before, or just because I need to clear some other smut out?

Changes are not easy. Being the change you want to see in others, kind of starts with YOU hello. I've been giving out a lot of advice lately. Not that I'm steering anyone in the wrong direction, but I'm finding that the best advice comes from personal experience. People who look at things from the outside and don't really know how it feels to go through something...I'm not so convinced on if you're giving me a load of crap or not. It's a big pet peeve of mine when people jump all over my ass about decisions I make. I'm not 15 years old anymore. It's all about trusting ME and what I KNOW AND FEEL. I never want any of my friends to be ashamed about something where they can't talk to me about things that go on. I've been in those shoes, and let me tell you--it fucking hurts.

I understand that it probably comes from a good place, but why is it necessary to make me feel like shit? Because some of the people in my life, that's exactly what they do! Which infuriates me even more--to the point where I don't want to talk to them. I hope that if I get like that, my friends would have the guts to tell me to back off. Because that's exactly what I'm going to start doing.

We've all made mistakes. Particularly in relationship scenarios. It's hard to keep a level head. I've confided in others and bitched about boyfriends and things they've done---which in return makes them believe he was an asshole. I barely told them about the good times, and how he made me feel like I could do anything--he changed my world. I've been caught twice now with friends in similar situations. One of which ended up getting back together with her boyfriend and is now her husband. Another good friend of mine was going through lots with her boyfriend and they took a break/broke up temporarily. I made a point to tell her that even though I didn't think it was a good idea, I wouldn't be upset with her and tell her she was stupid if she got back together with him. You gotta do what you think is right. Who am I to judge how you feel. Long story short, she did--but they broke up a few months after. My objective as being a supportive friend is to let my friends grow. It is not my job to be the relationship police, nor is it anyone else's.

So next time your friend complains to you and needs to vent about a rotten situation in a relationship, keep your ears and your heart open. You don't have to support any one's "bad decision" because in their eyes it may not seem that way.

"The key is to get to know people and trust them to be who they are. Instead, we trust people to be who want them to be--and when they're not, we cry."