Miss Roboto

Arigato!

I am finally feeling really confident about this whole regiment I'm on. Today was seriously smooth, almost robotic. It's like the weeks of daily routines has paid off! Things are all meshing together well, and I'm definitely getting the knack of how to live with this new lifestyle.

Breakfast!

This is what I do every morning. Prepare my shake which consists of protein powder, ice and Starbucks VIA. Eat my protein bar, then take my vitamins. Vitamins on an empty stomach, is a seriously bad idea. Yesterday I took them on an empty stomach and felt like I was going to throw up. My mistake! After I have the bar, I start sipping on my shake. It lasts me til about lunch time. There is no way humanly possible I could drink that whole thing in one sitting. I don't know how people can do it.

Usually for lunch, I stick with a salad and dressing. I figure eating the ruffage before dinner should help move things along. At this point, I've been stirring in 1-2tsp of MiraLAX with my water. I probably won't make a habit of this, but because I'm so behind I made a point to today. 

It's all becoming second nature. I cheated, just to see how much I weighed. What!? I had to find out if all of the laxatives worked lol! Drum roll please...

THEY DID!

I weigh in Wednesday officially,

looks like you'll just have to wait until then to find out how much!

The number two saga continues...

MiraLAX, you are a MiraCLE.

Desperate times, call for desperate measures! I took 2tsp of MiraLAX Saturday, along with a fist full of prunes. Worked like a charm! I'm not sure if the MiraLAX or the prunes did it, maybe even both. Good thing I didn't dump the whole packet into my water...bad things might have happened! Not to be graphic or anything, but it seriously wasn't like an explosion like everyone else thought. Mind you, I knew prior how the aftermath of taking too much of it. Not personal experience of course, my patients tell me horror stories. Needless to say, I felt much better. Not that I was in any pain, but it was a good enough feeling to know it wasn't sitting around in my belly. 

On Friday a company called Lincare called me to drop off an oximeter. Dr. Cusimano ordered it for me to wear this weekend. It's your basic pulse oximeter, you know that clip thing that goes on your finger with the red light? Yeah, that thing. As far as I can tell, my oxygen levels look good. After I put it on, the meter reads it at 96-98%. Of course I don't know if it falls below that range when I'm off to dream land. It has a USB storage card in it, so it records data for the company to print out on Monday. I'm pretty sure I don't have sleep apnea, but I know for sure I snore. Maybe that will change after I lose the weight.

My next weigh in is Wednesday. Just a nurse visit this time. Seems like every other week I'll be meeting with a nurse, and opposite ones with Dr. Cusimano. I don't really mind. If I had to guess, I'm sure I've lost a pound or two. Just have a feeling it's going to take me another week to recover from the number two fiasco! 

LAX, and I don't mean the airport

WARNING DISCLAIMER

If you are uncomfortable about literally shit talking

this post is NOT for your eyes. Don't say I didn't warn you!

FOS aka Full Of Shit.

is the unofficial term we medi people use for

constipation

I weighed in today, and was HORRIFIED to find I had GAINED 2.5lbs. Disappointment, frustration, embarrassed just to name a few emotions running through me. I've been staying on track with my regiment and really haven't deviated. Dr. Cusimano knew right away what the problem was. She has me taking 2 iron supplements 2x a day. One of the fabulous side effects of taking care of your anemia--is giving up your potty chair. Once again, her office was out of EZ-Cleanse  so I am back to fending for myself until it comes in.

Last night I had a big discussion with my girlfriends and they convinced me to get a laxative. After work, I swung over to Walgreens and picked up Ex-Lax (so cliche I know). I popped 2 tabs immediately and waited out the night. Welp, NOTHING HAPPENED. NOTHING! I woke up this morning confused. I know I've been eating food so if it's going in and not coming out...it's just sitting there. I know what bowel obstructions can do to people, not pretty. 


Dr. Cusimano suggested I get MiraLAX, a powder laxative that colonoscopy patients use to clean them out. I've heard it's like dynamite, TNT. She didn't recommend taking a full dose, but small amounts can help move thigs along. I'm going to attempt it tomorrow if the prunes tonight don't help.


Prunes, ahh yes prunes. An old person's best friend. Even the thought of drinking prune juice makes me queasy. I can totally eat prunes, so I bought some tonight. I just ate 2, and I'm drinking my glass of water with probiotic powder mixed in with it. If I don't go, I'm definitely doing the MiraLAX tomorrow.


Needless to say, Dr. Cusimano said it was pretty normal. She won't be able to graph everything out and tell if it's water weight or actual weight until about 6 weeks. Apparently it's really normal to gain and lose fluid while you're changing your diet. More data is needed to collect before we can figure things out for sure.


Cross your fingers for me people, I'm going to need it!

I want to be a part of it, New York!

Long weekend fun!

For this rotation off, I went to the city for a mini family reunion with my sister and cousins. It was so much fun! Besides a TON of walking (thanks to my crazy sister) I enjoyed a weekend full of adventure. We went to see Wicked, bought some really wonderful perfume, clothes and of course dining adventures.

I was allowed to have a "free pass" for this week, which I think I'm regretting now. I still ate my protein bars, but I did indulge this weekend. For the most part, I was able to control myself and not eat way over my limits. I made sure I ate salad, drank lots, and got protein along the way. I will say this--I didn't have any desserts! In fact, none of the girls got desserts! So proud! :)

Although I do mostly enjoy going to the city, I can only stay for a few day and I'm done. I AM A CRY ASS. My sister insists on walking, and speed walking at that to every place we go. Even if we don't have to rush, which I detest. I like leisure on my weeks off, not mad dashes everywhere! I did so many flights of stairs in the course of four days, my legs feel like I just tried to hike myself up the Eiffel tower! My fault also though, totally didn't bring the right shoes but whatever.

I'm nervous for my appointment this week. Crossing my fingers that I didn't gain. If I had to guess, I didn't lose and i didn't gain...looks like i'll just have to wait and see!

Black Jade by Lubin

My perfume! Ahhhh! So excited. I picked this up at Aedes De Venustas in NYC. Black Jade is a high end French perfume, which Queen Marie Antoinette wore herself. It's said she concealed this fragrance in a black jade bottle, hence the name. I LOVE IT. 

Iron Maiden

"Rock music should be gross: that's the fun of it. It gets up and drops its trousers."

Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden

Well Bruce, I WISH I COULD! UGH...okay let me explain a bit.

My preliminary appointments consisted of having every lab test known to man. I found out I had some major vitamin deficiencies, and I'm anemic apparently. I'm on a supplement regiment and I receive vitamin B12 shots on a weekly basis. 

B12

B Complex

Calcium

Vitamin D 

Fish Oil 

Iron

Multi Vitamin 

I started on the IRON during my second week, and I'm not too thrilled. All my vitamins made a drastic change. More energy, feeling good---BUTT (lol) I am not regular if you know what I mean. Today was weigh in day.

WEEK TWO:

1lb melted away

Okay, okay...so I didn't gain any weight but I was still disappointed. I mean I ate so much ruffage this week it wasn't funny. There's no reason I should be backed up, until I found out that was a side effect of iron supplements. Cody my LPN, suggested I take probiotic powder. What the french toast is that?! Well ladies and gents, it's this weird powder packed with "good" bacteria like the kind in yogurt. It calls for putting 1/2 a tsp in water and drinking it. I tried it tonight, and it really has no taste! But the container smells like vinegar lol. Cody assured me it wasn't like a laxative, so there'd be no danger in the belly grumbles and mad dashes to the bathroom.

Still, I couldn't believe it was only a pound! Cody was confident that I probably did lose, but alas...for once in my life I can honestly say I was full of shit.

Don't forget

Happy 84th Birthday Grandpa!

Grandpa's wheelbarrow.
I took this photo in 2003, Photography Class

October 3rd, is always a very special day for me. My grandpa was one of the most profound human beings I've ever known. I credit him with my sassy attitude, strength and tenacity for what I believe in, and the importance of giving a smile. It's still very difficult for me to talk about him, even now I have tears streaming down my face. But my post today is for him, and for that I have to keep writing.

I've been dealing with some demons that are beyond my control lately. Allowing things (more like people...) to eat me up and spit me back onto the sidewalk, just to get stomped on again. Of course I allow myself  temporary swearing fits of rage, but it really doesn't make me feel better. It occurred to me that during crappy times like these, I think of my Grandpa.

"You might not get a long with him, you might not get along with her. He said she said, and someone is always better than you. This one is luckier, this one is prettier, if I just had this.

It takes all kinds of people to make a world Thao Mai, and you just have to pick what kind of person you are."

Grandparents have this crazy way of tapping right into you. Getting right down into your soul, comforting you, making you feel like anything is bearable in life with their help. And one day they're gone--and now you're lost, and have to find your own source of wholeness. For me, it's like having to find my life all over again.

Every thought I have on giving up, every flicker of doubt I have in myself, every upsetting moment I encounter--I have to remember who I am, who Grandpa taught me to be. 

"Some people can't help that they're mean and ugly on this inside, some people don't know no better. You just go on and do what you're doing doll baby. Don't you choose to be like them people."

Another thing I know for sure, is this:

If he were here today, he sure as hell would not be eating

"rabbit food" with me...

;P

Love You Grandpa!

Keep the change, you filthy animal

Setting goals, ahhh yes.

I've been thinking a lot about my goals, my life and where I want to be. My weight loss goal currently is 60lbs, which I can totally do. I talked to my sister today, she participated in "The Mud Run" in New York City. Looked like TONS of fun, and why wouldn't it be?! There's MUD!. Being motivated is a dirty, dirty business and I plan on being filthy. 

HTC Rhyme for Verizon

Say hello to my first goal treat.

I've decided that for every 10lbs I lose, I get a reward. Heee heee heee, I love this idea. Anyone who knows me, knows I am a gadget junkie. I LOVE GADGETS. I am the girl who gets a new phone every year, has the funnest games and trinkets, the best accessories, hello world---I'm addicted. Verizon just launched a new smart phone (obviously geared toward hunnies on the go such as myself) and guess who has an upgrade?! Not putting Apple products down, but I am a huge fan of Android and HTC. This bad girl comes with a charging/blue tooth speaker dock, TANGLE FREE headphones, AND a charm that glows when you have a call or messages. I've just discovered the holy grail of trinket junkie. 

I'm so close to 10lbs I can almost feel the touch of purple phone paradise! You shall be mine soon enough, rhyme. Anyway, next appointment is Wednesday. I doubt I lost another 5lbs, but I'll for SURE lose it by the appointment after. Gives me just enough time to keep up on phone reviews, so I make the right purchase.